There are Facials and then THERE ARE FACIALS

Don't you hate it when your older sister is still right?  Even at 56 and 58, which I heard is the new 36 and 38...WOW...I just swallowed really big...like gulp...are we really that old?  Anyway, I just didn't want some of her advice to be right.  But alas, one of us has lily white skin with very few wrinkles because the sun was not her friend and the other one of us, namely ME, has rough and tough leather skin, like an old cowhand, because I love the sun.  Lily white sis also told me during our teenage years that for every night I didn't wash my make up off, it aged my skin two days for every one, so LOW AND BEHOLD, as our mom would say, I now look like I'm 112 and Carol looks like the new 30.

So I decided that since a facelift isn't in my future, not until I get my makeover in Heaven, and wow, what a total makeover that will be... that I'd better start trying to take care of the leathered skin I have.  Carol has been getting facials all along so I knew it was time to again, follow in my older but younger looking sister's footsteps and schedule a facial appointment.  Now, there are facials and then there are facials.  There are those that are simply lovely, listening to soothing music that sounds like waves on a beach and crickets chirping in the trees while you're snuggled under a warm blanket while soft hands rub your face for an hour.  Aw heavenly.  Those have been my choice for the last several years.  But then, there are the other facials. Years ago, I had the other facials but finally had to admit I just was not woman enough.  I have a really high pain tolerance, afterall, I've had 5 children and lived to tell about it, but I finally could take it no more.  The day she plucked my nose hairs was the day I yelled mercy and said no more.  Why does our military use water boarding when they could simply pluck our enemies nose hairs and get all the answers they are after.  Water boarding has nothing on nose hair plucking.  So with fear and trembling, I knew it was time, time to revisit the small German woman that knows and shows no mercy.

With much trepidation, I tried to relax as I climbed onto her torture chamber bed.  Slowly she moved the dreaded round, lighted, tell all mirror over my face.  Her first words to me were "Oh Mrs. Chessah (that's my German accent) you need me" followed by "someone loves the sun."  Oh drat.  How could my skin betray me like that?  She then proceeded to describe her instrument of torture, a scalpel on one end and an extractor on the other!!!  She even took the cotton balls off of my eyes so she could show it to me.  But as long as she didn't pull out the nose tweezers, I knew I could survive.

The small German woman is very good at her craft.  She explained that this spot was a blah blah blah and it can wrap around the blah blah blah making it very brutal and she would just have to "dig it out" and that's exactly what she did, just dug it  right out of  there with her extractor.

I endured my time with her and left with a squeaky clean face and armed with the face saving sunscreen that she insisted I had to have, "Mrs Chessah, you never go outside without putting this on first."  Rejoicing that the nose tweezers never came out, I made my next appointment for 8 weeks and left.

I am now leaving my 2nd appointment with my tail tucked between my legs and my shoulders slumped over.  What happened?  I was so good to wear my sunscreen and wash my face.  But upon arriving to her torture chamber, I was met with "Mrs. Chessah, you have been in the sun."   How in the world did she know I had enjoyed a lovely day of boating?  My traitor skin sold me out again so for the next hour I heard things like, "Mrs. Chessah, your skin is like brown saran wrap over flesh" and "Mrs. Chessah, your skin's DNA is shot full of holes."  What does that even mean anyway?  It could have hurt my feelings but I was too busy trying not to laugh as I was creating this blog in my head.

So as I pack my bags to head down to the coast for a week of fun sitting in the sun with my family and playing on the beach with Wyatt, I'll grab the spf 10000 sunscreen and my hat, but I'll remember who I aspire to be from the Proverbs 31 woman.  "Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, but the woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised."  Wrinkles and All!

Sorry, small little German friend but Mrs. Chessah's headin for the beach!!!

 That's Carol telling me, the younger one with the thunder thighs, how much damage the sun would do to my skin.